Two weeks old today

Amelia is sound asleep on my chest as I write this. She has given me the gift lately of being able to comfort her by holding her close and keeping my cheek against hers. She loves this position, and will calm down fairly easily when I do this. It is very rewarding to be able to comfort my baby.

Joe is home from work today, and I am very appreciative. Not only am I exhausted, but I am emotionally drained. I am not sure that we, mamas, can prepare ourselves for being "on call" 24 hours a day, and needed so much during that time. Physically, my breasts are very sore, my back aches from holding her so much, and the rest of my body is still healing from birth. Just when I am ready to close my eyes for a cat nap, she seems to wake up and want to nurse. Emotionally, I am not yet able to see how I will ever be able to prepare a meal, or take a long bubble bath, or make plans without worrying about when she will wake up or want to nurse or be held. I do know that all of that will work itself out, but I can't see how or when yet. I know this is temporary, and yet its difficult to see the end, or what is next.

Having said all of this, I also feel very good about these past two weeks. I feel very bonded to her. I love seeing her face when she wakes up, and even when she is sleeping. I love hearing her sounds, and feeling her warm body against mine.

So, we made it through our first two weeks together. I have one more week "on my own", and then Joe is off for 10 days around Christmas. After the holidays, I will hopefully have more energy and be out & about a bit with Amelia.

Joe is now holding Amelia while she sleeps, so I am going to run upstairs and take a hot bath while I can! Never before has every free minute been so precious...