The Name Game

Whoever thought naming a child would be so challenging? When I was only 9 years old, I had decided upon the names of my future children (I had also selected the gender and age, until my Dad explained that impossibility.) What I didn't consider back then was the unknown last name of my children, which is Adiletta. I also didn't factor in my future husband's preferences. I would even write out fake Christmas cards, leaving only my husband's name blank.

Adiletta is not the easiest of names to match. For one thing, it has four syllables. For another, it begins with an "a", while many beautiful first names end with an "a".

Early on in our pregnancy, Joe and I settled on two names that we both really liked. We were relieved to be all set, and decided upon keeping our names a secret until the big day. Then, one day, I looked at Joe and asked him to try on the boy's name, as if our son were an adolescent and he were engaged in a serious conversation with him. Strange as this may sound, my husband looked at me puzzled, and shared that he had trouble imagining a 16-year-old boy with that name. As did I. I then began to imagine my son running for office with his playful, adventurous name. Would he hate it? And my daughter, would she tire easily of such a simple name, even though we felt it to be beautiful and strong? Would we grow tired of both of the names before they were even born?

So, back to the drawing boards we went. We scoured name sites and read meanings, made lists, and matched middle names. We would discard a name, and then come back to it days later. "But I thought you didn't like that name with Adiletta??" my husband would ask me, confused. I would reply, "I've changed my mind. What do you think?" And on, and on, we would go.

Within the past month, we've settled on two top names for each gender. Our original names are among these four leading ones. However, I will admit that I've lost a bit of perspective. One of our top two girls' names breaks all the rules. On some days, it sounds like a tongue-twister. On other days, it is the most beautiful sounding name to me.

I've even broken down and shared the names with a couple of people. I was feeling desperate, and wanted to see their reactions. My child would be with this name for his or her life span here, and so I want to choose wisely.

Part of me believes that we won't have a final name chosen until this little person enters the world. And another part of me fears that scenario. After all, whenever I make a "game time" decision over what to eat at a restaurant, I end up with the strangest of all possible meals. I end up with a "what the heck - let's try this!" dish. I have a feeling my child will not thank me for that approach.