Protein, protein and protein, oh my!

My midwife called with some blood test results today. Overall, they looked good. However, there was a protein that was out of the normal range, which could potentially lead to toxemia, if I understand correctly. What I really, really like about my midwife is how pro-active she is. She already had started me on a high protein diet with a supplement to boot. Now, though, we have increased my protein daily target to 125 grams per day!!! Ok, so that might not seem like a difficult thing until you start to add up protein levels in our foods. It requires ALOT of meat (and protein shakes).

During my conversation with my midwife, she mentioned inducing early, if needed. She is not suggesting that we do that, or saying that we will need to do so. She simply said "we could induce you when you and Joe get back from Portland this weekend, since you'll be 37 weeks, if we really needed to." or something similar. Basically, if I started to develop symptoms like swelling, headaches, etc., it may be better to naturally induce if my body is not sustaining itself well in this last month. I would still aim for a homebirth, which, of course, I deeply want.

At the mere mention of going early, a wave of energy ran through my body. Labor has seemed so far away, even when I know it might be in two weeks, or four weeks. I've mentally prepared myself to be pregnant through the end of November, and into early December. I hadn't considered delivering early. My mom was late with most of us, and I assumed I'd follow in her footsteps.

I can't imagine having the baby here yet. I imagine that sounds strange, since I'm nearly at the end of the road. However, that part hasn't seemed real yet. Me, a mother?? For real?? With a baby to care for? Just last night, I dreamt about my baby, and having forgotten to feed her. I've had that dream a few times. I suddenly remember I haven't fed my baby and then I sprint to retrieve her (or him in some dreams). I am in a complete panic in these dreams. When I shared this dream with Joe this morning, he tried to make me feel better by assuring me that the baby would not allow me to forget. I explained to him that there is an anxiety underneath that of meeting my baby's needs. Men... they can be so practical and literal.

Even now, I am excited and nervy at the thought of delivering early. This year has been so transitional for me, so spacious, so "mine". I want this baby more than anything. I want to see his or her little face, and kiss his or her little feet. AND, my life is about to change in a way that I can not even begin to fathom. And change is scary, as it is exciting.

So, stay tuned!!